Googled "common core math" to try to explain it to my boyfriend. This was the first image result

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Dont pee and sneeze!

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Challenge accepted

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Kids are assholes

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Asked a girl out. She said yes and asked what we were gonna do.

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Thug Life

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Tetris alarm clock... take my money!

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Who thought this was a good idea?

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Tough day on the job for Franklin

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Canadian parties

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bitch I'm dying

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How every drunk one night stand goes

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My son is a ridiculous little person.

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The key to happiness - Mr Peanut Butter.

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My mom and my little sister bought these keychains at a local swap meet. They werent expecting what was inside them. [NSFW]

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This is what my mother posted on Facebook for my birthday, while everyone else was commenting with the usual "Happy Birthday!"

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This is how the screen on my iPod broke:

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This post is going nowhere fast.

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one of my favorite offensive jokes

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Some serious monkey business

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As a grown-up and movie-fan, I really appreciated this running gag in "Penguins of Madagascar."

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At my favorite Burrito place...

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Just stretching my calf muscles

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Baby hears sound for the first time

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Hard work is so over.

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Illustrated a children's book a few years back. Still rolling in royalty checks.

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Slow motion camera being used like it should be

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When life gives you bananas...

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Just keep out of his sight and you'll be fine...

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Let it Show

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I got drunk and tried to make mac and cheese last night but I accidentally passed out on the couch for 3 hours...

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So many half-ass posts are making it to the front page lately, thought I might try my luck.

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Eat your own shit klepto.

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Found this at Best Buy. Send help...

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F

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Outfoxed

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Florida sewer Rat.

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So close.

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I spilled a bunch of parmesan cheese when making breakfast this morning. Let the race begin!

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My mate had a bit of a rough night...

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green screen

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Lassie, get help!

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TIL there's an Imperial Star Destroyer disguised as a sports club near my house.

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Onwards!

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Suspension doing its thing

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There's a bee on your back

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Have you ever seen a cat become broken? [x-post from /r/funny]

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Old skater proves the haters wrong

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Well fuck you too fortune cookie

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Hugh Jackman forgets he's not actually Wolverine in Night at the Museum 3.

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